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loreleismama wrote:
Loss is on our cells. I heard that some of a baby's cells (no matter how young it was when it leaves you womb) stay in your womb for something like 2 year. It was comforting to me after my losses. My two babies that never made it here were concived within 6 months of each other so they knew each other. They had siblings that they knew. My daughter who was concieve shortly after and made it to this world also knoew them. She knew there cells.
That comforted me.
It also help to think that for a while I still had those babies with me in my body not just my heart.
1/10/2008 3:03 PM CST

Niksmother wrote:
What a marvelous exercise and a way to help you find your way back to whole sentences...when you are ready. Id din't comment on the other posts as they were so raw, so visceral and I had nothign to say to you except "I am so, so very sorry." Nothing will fully heal the hole; sometimes I still feel the loss of Nik's vanished twin. (I like the idea that loreleismama wrote...that Nik and his sibling knew each other.) Days get easier and sometimes you won't think of it (way in the future, not now) and then other days it will sit on your heart like a weight. Honor the feelings as they come...whatever they are.

Sending big hugs.
1/10/2008 9:27 PM CST
NOLAeyes wrote:
Once I was able to return to my home in New Orleans after the disaster of 2005, I found myself struggling to be home in a city that I loved and that was not...the city that I fell in love with over a decade ago. And each day, loss was revisited just be opening my door and looking out at the houses and neighbors gone... and then a beloved friend of mine who writes for a living sent me to From the Mountain Top. "I think she'll be good for your soul" she wrote. I have read your blog ever since. And you are. Even in your pain, you offer healing and solace. Sending gratitude and soul hugs from my devestated city to your devestated heart...
1/10/2008 10:08 PM CST

nataliebenson wrote:
My responses may or may not be helpful...sometimes reading about someone else's loss meant NOTHING to me. "Yeah, but," I'd think.

Maybe this tiny story will make you smile for just a second...just to feel the smile spring across your face before the pain returns.
I teach second grade. I miscarried on a Friday (after taking every single second graders' picture)...one moment I was with my students, the next minute, I was so upset that someone else had to take me to the doctor. My poor students had NO idea what happened to me. My co-worker wrote a beautiful note to the parents asking them to explain everything however they would prefer and ask the students to just act normal when I returned (this was my request--I just wanted things "normal"). One day, several weeks after I'd returned, one of my students said, "Mrs. Benson, is your baby still in your tummy?" Another student said, "No, she LOST it." A third student replied, "She didn't LOSE it like we lose our pencil."

So, I completely understand that saying, "I lost" the baby is no easier than saying miscarriage, it died...every way you say it hurts like hell and reminds you of the emptiness at the center of your being.

I think I might try your writing exercise.
1/11/2008 9:22 PM CST

Following Elias wrote:
Natalie, thanks for the smile:)It's amazing how even in times of grief kids can still make me laugh. Thank you too for sharing your experience--it means a lot.

NOLAeyes, your words mean so much, I can't even tell you...thank you, from my heart to your city.

Niksmother, as always, I feel like we are connected in so many ways.

And loreleismama, I hadn't heard this, about the baby's cells staying in my womb, and I can't thank you enough for telling me, for the comfort it brings.

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