So this is my new home.
What do you think?
Sort of spare at the moment but it's all mine. Well, and yours, because without you, I might as well return to my notebooks and record my thoughts on pen and paper to tuck beside my bed. But then I wouldn't get to share...
I am 25 weeks pregnant today--yahoooooooo-- beyond the point where Elias was born. And I'm not even on full bed-rest, still allowed to live an upright life. New territory, unexplored terrain for this mama of one micro-preemie son.
This morning I visited Elias's kindergarten class, a request from his teachers, in order to tell the students Elias's story.
The kids want to know what happened to him.
Why does he walk with canes? Did he break his legs? Why does he bump into us in line and fall so often in the classroom? Why is he still in diapers? Why doesn't he look at me when I ask him something? Why doesn't he respond to my questions? Is he OK? What happened?
"Good morning class, I'm Elias's Mommy and I'm here to tell you his story. You may have noticed there are some things that are different about him and I'm here to tell you what's different and what's the same..."
Elias was not in the classroom as I began his story but in the resource room playing with an aide. This was the plan. Part of me wanted him there for all of it, so we weren't talking about him behind his back, as we are advocates for inclusion after all; but I think in the end, it worked best to have him join later, especially since when he was present he wanted to point out things in the classroom for me to look at rather than follow along with his story.
He knows he has to work harder than other kids his age as a result of his early birth--we talk about his story at home often these days-- so he'd rather show me around.
The students sat on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, looking up at me from my perch on a little plastic chair. "When Elias was born he came out four months early, show me the number four, well done, so instead of the size of a regular baby, can you cradle your arms like mine, that's it, he was tiny, can you put your two hands together like this, that's how big he was..."
From my "story bag" I pull out his first diaper, a picture from his first month in the NICU, and his little lamby blanky that was once bigger than him.
"...And though he was curious about the world, and his heart and spirit were strong, his little body wasn't quite ready to be out of my belly-- and so now his body has to work a whole lot harder than yours to walk and stand and run, and it often takes him longer to learn how to do new things."
I went on to show them where their trunk was, like trees, with their arms and legs as limbs, and explained that because he's still learning to control his trunk, he uses canes for support for walking and wears diapers until he can use the toilet successfully.
I asked them all to look right at me and said that Elias has a hard time controlling his eyes; and so though he doesn't look at you, it doesn't always mean he's not listening; and though he doesn't answer your question right away, it doesn't mean he's ignoring you but that it can take him longer to find his words.
"And if he knocks into you in line, he doesn't mean to, he just loses his balance easily."
"Its OK if he bumps into me," the girl sitting by my feet said.
I smiled at her before continuing, "These are some of the ways he's different, but there are so many ways in which he's similar. Put your hands on your head if you like ice cream. Elias loves ice cream too. Put your hands on your cheeks if you like puddles. So does Elias. Put your hands in your lap if you like playing at the playground..."
"Mommy!" Elias said as he walked into the room. He found his spot on the floor in the front row as we opened up the conversation for questions. And statements. As many of the kids wanted to tell me that they were in their mommy's belly, or that she had five kids, or that they liked zebras too.
When a student asked why he wore diapers and, with Elias now on my lap before them, I explained that he was still learning how to use the potty, just like they all had to learn, his teacher asked if she could say something.
She proceeded to tell the class that just like some kids know a few letters and some kids, like Elias, know a lot of letters, we are all learning knew things at school. "Elias can count really high because he's been practicing at home and just like some of you are still learning your numbers at school, he's learning how to use the toilet here too."
I'd like to say this made Elias as proud as his mama but he wanted to point out something across the room, just as the kids on the floor started to squirm, showing me how similar they all are after all.
"Its time for me to go," I said. "Thank you for letting me visit and share this story. I'm glad Elias has so many nice kids to share the class with. When I asked him this morning why he uses his canes, he told me so he can go to school. So he likes being here just like you.
"When do I get to go home with you?" he asked as I stood up, his lower lip showing the tiniest of trembles.
"When you finish your job here," I said.
"We still have to learn about the letter E, Elias, and make your very own Exit sign" his teacher said.
And he let go of my leg to find his spot on the floor, directed his eyes towards his teacher, and allowed me to silently slip from the room.
Hi Christy! Welcome to your new home here, I am so glad to continue to be a part of your journey.
Posted by: DeannaBanana | 08/31/2009 at 08:58 PM
BEAUTIFUL! I am so glad you got to share with the class. I love it. Made my night. How special of a day this must have been for you, Elias, and his class. Happy to have found your new home...and yay for 25 weeks!!!
Posted by: Audrey | 08/31/2009 at 10:23 PM
What beautiful things Elias will teach his classmates.
Your writing always makes me weepy.
Melodee
Posted by: Melodee | 08/31/2009 at 11:21 PM
I loved how you explained things to the kids in Elias's class- you are so gifted with words! I love your new blog and I especially love keeping up with Elias and your growing tummy- yea 25 weeks!
Lots of love,
Noel
Posted by: Noel Dennehy | 09/01/2009 at 03:42 AM
It's beautifull this new blog Christy!!....It's really a great thing that you speak to the children in class....I really admire you!
Posted by: Sara | 09/01/2009 at 03:53 AM
Love it all! I love to hear about Elias and I have learned from him from here in KY. Go, Olive, go!
Posted by: Shelley | 09/01/2009 at 04:19 AM
Great new home, Christy! I was glancing at the archives. I remember the first post I ever read on your site "I wish you could have been in our living room tonight." - that was it. I was so delighted for you. That was a lifetime ago for me, when we were suspecting there was a different problem for our Robbie. Little did I know at that point where I'd be now. We never know, do we?
But here I am, still reading your blog :-).
Posted by: Tracy | 09/01/2009 at 04:48 AM
Beautiful new website, and a beautiful post!! I love hearing about Elias, and your words about transitions and starting kindergarten have been so wonderful for me because my oldest started kindergarten 3 days ago. :) I am so glad your blog is continuing -- I always look forward to your lovely writing!
Posted by: Beth | 09/01/2009 at 05:02 AM
I like your new site. I could never figure out how to leave comments on the old one. As always I am in awe of you and Elias. What an amazing thing that you could share his story with his class. I need to go get some Kleenex now =)
Posted by: Marlen | 09/01/2009 at 05:17 AM
I am SO GLAD you are continuing to post on a new site. I really enjoy following along with your story, and it really gives me encouragment to love and be patient with my son. Thank you so much for sharing.
Posted by: massageon | 09/01/2009 at 05:31 AM
Your strength always inspires me. Love the "story bag" and your new home.
Posted by: elizabeth | 09/01/2009 at 05:36 AM
HOORAY! I'm glad you found this good address, christy - and happy I don't have to register with the junk mailers to comment to you. What a great idea to tell Elias' story to his class. Preventing the communication breakdown - you empowered them with knowledge so they don't have to make things up that are wrong, or wonder in ways that are hurtful to him. I love his teacher's response about letters and diapers. And I'm so glad school is going well for him. (And for you!)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ginna
Posted by: Ginna | 09/01/2009 at 06:11 AM
That teacher is wonderful! I love what he said. How she helped point out the thing that Elias COULD do.
His mama did a good job too :)
Posted by: Jessica | 09/01/2009 at 06:22 AM
I'm so happy that you are continuing your blog! And, about how you spoke to the class...
You rock!
That is all.
Posted by: Lisse | 09/01/2009 at 06:27 AM
Great new blog! I am so happy you are allowing us to continue to follow along!
Posted by: Stacy | 09/01/2009 at 06:37 AM
You are an amazing mom, and Elias is so very lucky to have you! You told his story eloquently.
Posted by: Kris H. | 09/01/2009 at 06:57 AM
Christy:
I have been following at Parents for a long time, but never commented. Not because I didn't want to, but mostly because I didn't know what to say. You amaze me. Elias amazes me. Nick amazes me. Your strength and perseverance and the fierceness with which you fight for your son stuns me every single time I read one of your posts. Your positive outlook and brutal honesty are so refreshing and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm also pregnant with my second child and I send a little hope your way everyday that you can stay "upright" for 40 very long weeks :)
Posted by: Kristina | 09/01/2009 at 07:52 AM
I love your new site, and am so excited for you and your new "page" of life's adventures to fill up.
Can't wait to read all about it!
Posted by: Amanda | 09/01/2009 at 07:57 AM
Thanks for inviting us over to the new blog. As always, I love the way you write.
Posted by: Debbie | 09/01/2009 at 08:27 AM
Yay, you have your own new site! So happy we can continue to share in the heartwarming adventures of Elias and his family. Give him a hug for us and a special rub for Olive too. Here's to a healthy 40-week finish line and Elias's excellent days! Miss you all!
Posted by: Tina and family | 09/01/2009 at 08:51 AM
Welcome to your new home! Looks beautiful. What a great way to introduce Elias to his Kindergarten classmates! (I can't believe he's in Kindergarten; time really flies...)
Posted by: Karianna | 09/01/2009 at 09:05 AM
I'm so glad you have this new site! I've loved following his story for the past couple years. This post brought tears to my eyes and deep admiration for you that you were able to do this. Elias is teaching all of us so much. He is going to do great this year:)
Posted by: Mel | 09/01/2009 at 11:00 AM
I love your new place here, Christy, and I will be adding your site to my feed reader so I can continue to follow Elias. From the Mountaintop to Parents.com and on to independence as a self-publishing blogger!
Posted by: Procrastamom | 09/01/2009 at 11:14 AM
what a beautiful, beautiful story the way you shared and explained it. you're really good with children; i love your interaction with them. WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME!, and i didn't even have to sign in to leave my comments. lol!
Posted by: heiresschild | 09/01/2009 at 11:25 AM
I love your new home! :)
Our school at our "old" home housed the preschool program for children with disabilities, so I never had to make any kind of classroom presentation...the kids were used to it and took Evan's issues in stride. It sounds like the first week went well for him here...but your post gives me the thought that I should touch base with his teachers to be sure the other kids are as accepting here. Thanks!
Posted by: DiVaughn | 09/01/2009 at 11:42 AM
Great new home and thanks for welcoming all of us to it.
Posted by: VA | 09/01/2009 at 11:44 AM
Welcome to your new home! And what a fabulous post topic to start you off here ;-). I am taking notes for when BC (my son) starts school next year.
Dianne
xo
Posted by: Dianne | 09/01/2009 at 01:07 PM
Have been following you for a long time now but always had difficulty posting comments on the Parents site. Will try to not be such a lurker now...
Posted by: Katy | 09/01/2009 at 03:24 PM
Glad to have found you here, and glad Elias's classmates were so receptive to you. And VERY glad your are still upright!
Posted by: Ginny | 09/01/2009 at 05:20 PM
Yay! What a great new blog home. And very well done on the classroom talk :) AND whoo hoo re the baby staying comfortably in your belly.
Posted by: Sara | 09/01/2009 at 05:41 PM
PS - see if this digs up some of your writing from the former site - you can then cut and paste it and archive them yourself (into blog posts here). Painful, but there anyway -
http://www.archive.org/web/web.php
Posted by: Sara | 09/01/2009 at 05:49 PM
Welcome home Christy, Nick, Elias, Olive, and Tonsina. New site, new turn in the road, I can't wait to follow along. I hope Parents hands over your archives. If they won't, let me know if you need some quick and dirty cut and paste to get some of your work saved for you.
Lots of love,
D
Posted by: Deidre | 09/01/2009 at 06:17 PM
Yea -- for 25 weeks, for Elias, for his awesome teacher and class friends!
Posted by: JenniferB | 09/01/2009 at 06:52 PM
I must say I am so thankful to all of you for joining me here at my new site.
I'm still hoping to convince Parents to let me bring my archives here, before they pull my blog from their site, but as a "work for hire" they technically own the last two years of posts. In the meantime I'll continue to share our lives with all of you and slowly figure out the technical pieces of publishing my own blog.
I must say I LOVE being rid of the annoying ads and the hoops you had to jump through to comment. That and the fact that at least once a week when I tried to get on Parents to write the site was down for maintenance--the problem with being four hours behind NY.
And what do you know, I'm 25 weeks and still able to visit Elias's classroom, I was sure I'd be in the hospital by now.
I'm enjoying this restricted freedom, one precious day at a time.....
Posted by: Christy | 09/01/2009 at 09:07 PM
Christy, I have been following your blog for quite sometime. My friend Erin Wandelt knew I would love your writing so sent me the link & she was right! I am a former NICU Dietitian and to see how far Elias has come is just amazing- he is clearly a strong willed little boy with a beautiful smile! Will continue to follow along on the new site, feel well!
Posted by: Nicolle | 09/02/2009 at 05:45 PM
I love you so much. You know, for people who've never met, and all. Ah, your boy! I think I would buy Elias a pony if he asked me to. :)
Posted by: Angie (formerly AngieinNYC at parents.com) | 09/04/2009 at 05:19 PM
I agree with the above, glad you moved sites. Congrats on the new baby on the way and good luck with the new school year. Elias sounds like a great kid and I love the Alaska pics. My husband keeps saying he wants to move there, now I see why. My son has some vision problems and is in early intervention so I love to read about Elias's journey and yours. Look forward to reading more!
Posted by: Kim Lankford | 09/11/2009 at 07:05 AM
It is really a great visual and soul feat for me after reading you blog.
Posted by: christian louboutin | 11/01/2010 at 05:06 PM
Il suffit de dire merci ne sera pas seulement suffisante, pour que la clarté exceptionnelle à l'intérieur de votre écriture. Je pense que j'ai enregistrer votre site pour les mises à jour futures. Un grand merci.
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