I finally wrote a comment responding to all your comments in my posts below; but I wanted to say something else here...
I'm about a year into my reading of my former blog at Parents, trying to choose 15 posts to republish on this site. I'm reversing time as I read, going from the most recent ones backwards and doing this as I lay in bed, with a belly bigger than it's ever been, as Olive pushes against my womb, stretching her little limbs, letting me know she's part of this process.
And she is.
Here we are in the third trimester--no surgery, no cerclage, no bed-rest, no cervix opening months too soon. And from reading old posts, I never saw this possibility. That sperm and egg would meet not in my left but in my right uterus, that two X chromosomes would combine to create the longed for girl, and that this pregnancy would progress so, for lack of a better word, normally.
I can see my longing for this outcome hidden behind the endless question marks that punctuate so many of my past posts. A longing I didn't think I even deserved to articulate.
And there is something strangely cathartic about reading this angst from my position of 28 weeks and counting...
Ok, back to the reading room with me.
Your right uterus rocks!!!!!! Go Olive Go!
Posted by: kelly o | 09/22/2009 at 01:18 PM
Woo hoo for 28 weeks!!
Posted by: Frema | 09/22/2009 at 01:44 PM
28 weeks!! woo hoo!!
I will never view pregnancy the same again after reading and following your story. this might not be a good thing, since I'm planning to start trying for my first in a few months, but I certainly appreciate a big, full, round belly!
I'm so excited for you =)
ps. I meant to write you about Elias answering questions about his day at school but you had so many good replies, I didn't bother. Although I wanted to add that it's hard for kids to recall their school day once home. It's hard for typical kids, which is why they shrug and say, "I dunno. nothing." The more specific questions, the better, and go easy on him.. it can be exhausting to recall information over a period of time. I'd also advise using a visual prompt to help him (i.e. a school project like the Exit sign he made) have something to talk about.
Posted by: Emily | 09/22/2009 at 02:16 PM
so much to comment on but I will stick to my first thought.....as members of mankind, what we need in life is for something in our own lives to live beyond us (children, career accomplishment, charity work etc). Your story of Elias and Nick and your family has been generously shared with so many of us that even though you may not have all the "words", something of yours has already transcended. Does this make any sense? By touching others, your story lives within us too. sweet dreams.
Posted by: fleming | 09/23/2009 at 06:17 PM
I know you are busy rereading your files, but when you come up for air, can you write about what how you wish other mothers would talk to you about Elias' disabilities and abilities. We have a new friend in our play group and I don't want to stress his differences, but don't want to ignore them either... anyways, I know that I don't technically know you but having followed the blog for a couple years I trust your advice and voice and thought you might help me walk the right balance (myself and to help my kiddos too). Thanks!
Posted by: Mary Elizabeth | 09/23/2009 at 09:37 PM
Emily, you are right about the visuals, I'm finding that if I don't ask Elias questions right away but wait till he's settled and then we look at his papers together that come home in his folder, I get more information this way. And at random times when HE wants to share-- but if I try to drill him when he gets off the bus he changes the subject or makes up answers. And thanks for sharing that you me be embarking down this pregnant highway soon, you never know where it will take you but the new views are worth it. Best of luck to you:)
Fleming, yes that makes sense and thank you. In part I write for me, so I can be a better Mom to Elias by working through all this, and yet I also write for him, and for the hope that his story, my story, our story, will reach others and build bridges. Thanks for letting me know that this work has already begun.
Mary Elizabeth, I'd be honored to share my thoughts on this with you in one of my next posts and to invite other readers to give their input as well. Thanks for asking.
Unfortunately, the "cruds" has not left our house--though Elias is better, I think it may be my turn. The toilet and I had a date tonight and now I'm sitting near the bathroom in case it wants a nightcap. Ugh.
Posted by: Christy | 09/23/2009 at 10:28 PM