By Friday...

If Olive doesn't arrive on her own over the next 36 hours, we will head to the hospital at 6:00 a.m. Friday morning for a scheduled induction.

And if labor doesn't progress by Friday afternoon I'll have another c-section.

I can't wait the standard two weeks past my due date because she's running out of space in my smaller-than-average uterus. My fluid levels are a little low. And my placenta has already aged to a grade 3.

And they won't let me labor too long due to my increased risk of uterine rupture.

So that's the plan.

And I'd lie if I said I wasn't disappointed. Or frustrated by the irony of it all.  I mean here I am facing another medical intervention because I'm past my due date!!??!!

I don't know, I know as the mom of a former micro-preemie, a boy with special needs, I'm blessed to have made it this far and if we can get her out safely that far exceeds any birth expectations on my part.

I know this. It's written all over my "birth plan". (Oh how I smirk at the term plan.)

And yet over the past few weeks I've let myself read about labor and delivery and imagined myself experiencing a natural childbirth. I saw myself breathing through contractions, gritting my way through transition and watching my girl's head crown as I pushed with all I've got.  And maybe, but...

I have to readjust again.

As always.

Its what we do, I guess, keep shifting our weight to find our balance when the earth trembles beneath our feet.

And who knows what kind of tremors the next two days will bring.

But I know that regardless of how it happens Olive is on the move.

Come Friday night, I hope you'll find me holding her close, thanking the universe that she's here.

Comments

[Barb in Michigan (your Aunt Wendy's online friend)]

Christy, Do not feel that being induced will take away from your experience of a natural labor and delivery. I had 4 babies, with 2 of them being induced. Beyond not having to rush to the hospital, worrying that my husband would not make it home from work in time, having to secure child care in the middle of the night, etc., the actual experience was just as real as the other births. And who knows, maybe the exam the doc did today will get things started, it worked for me once. Keeping you and Olive in my heart and prayers.

[Krista]

Christy,
I understand all about having a "birth plan", I had one and everything I had hoped for changed. That said, we have a healthy boy and though I wish things had been different in terms of his entry into the world, I am so thankful he is here and okay. Best wishes, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Krista Ruesch

[Morgan S.]

With both my girls I was induced right at my due date due to gestational diabetes and the tendency of large babies associated with it. It was the right decision - I was able to deliver both girls vaginally and they were both 8 pounds. If I had waited, I would have risked them being too large to push out. I KNOW it was the right decision, but a teeny tiny little part of me is sad I never had that "She's coming! I just went into labor!" moment. Little Olive's story will be written either way and you will make peace with it. We are excited for you and she! You will be meeting her soon and THAT is wonderful to know!

[Sara]

I SO get what you're saying - I had so hoped for a "natural" childbirth and in the end - what happens happens. The prize at the end is the same - and you certainly won't love her any less.

I am fervently hoping she decides to make her own debut tomorrow though!

[Jessica]

I am glad you have a plan to get her here soon. It may not be your FAVORITE plan, but it is one that will get her here.
I bet now that she has been giving her walking papers though she will decided to make her debut on her own!

[the mad momma]

Dear Christy,
I know - even my 'birth plan' was a bit of a failure. On the other hand, I've got my two lovely children and soon you will have your second one too - safe in your arms and that should make up for the twinge of disappointment. God bless and compliments of the season.

[Emily Kurn]

No matter what happens come Friday....holding a healthy little Olive is the most important thing!!! I have a gift already for her whenever it's a good time to visit...

[Nicole]

Thinking about you all and praying, too! I found that induction isn't really that much different than going into labor naturally (induced with first, not with second). I felt nauseous all day leading up to labor with the second, so that wasn't much fun. Pain came on fast with the induction, but I guess that's kind of the point. Plus, you get to look at each other and say "here we go!!!!" Kind of like the anticipation before you go down that roller coaster hill.

I suppose no matter how it happens, it's still a lot of work. Good luck!

[Bren]

Good luck and best wishes! Everything will go great and soon you will have a new little bundle of wonderful, fabulous and awesome joy to hug close!

[Ginny]

None of it will matter when she is finally in your arms! I'm sorry you're disappointed and a little frustrated - but I'm also glad she's coming soon! Good luck!

[Niksmom]

Ah, the fierce-willed Olive is already keeping everyone on her toes, eh? She will come however she comes; I pray that it is safely and joyfully.

Can't WAIT to see those first pictures. :-)

[Susan]

Always an adventure! We'll be thinking of all of you, knowing that however Olive arrives, she'll be welcomed with love.

[bec]

Fingers and toes crossed here for as smooth a path (whatever that path may be) for Olive and for you. I second Susan's sentiment that she will be welcomed with love.

[Greta Campanale]

Christy, having gone through an unexpected first c-section and then two subsequent "required" repeat c-sections, I appreciate the desire to give birth naturally. HOWEVER, in the long run, if you must have surgery, your body heals (as you know) and you are thankful that there is this option if the baby show signs of trouble in getting out. I know you know all this. And I know how much I disliked (understatement) having surgery to deliver my babies. But I am thankful they came into the outside world safely. And, of course, I'll always wonder what would have happened if surgery was not an option. But the significance of that wondering diminishes over time. You are in my thoughts!!!

[Vicki]

Christy, you're so sweet to keep us up-to-date on Olive's status.

Can't wait for that first picture of Elias and Olive!!

[massageon]

GOOD LUCK!! We will be praying for you with love in our hearts!!! Go Olive GO!!!

[Kristin]

Good luck with it all. One way or another, that girl will come out eventually :) That's the one guarantee you have with childbirth. You'll be in our thoughts the next few days. Elias, too.

[Sara]

Christy,

Congratulations on making it this far. We will be thinking of you over the next few days. All is as it should be.

:) Sara

[fleming]

I will be thinking of you ALL DAY tomorrow. Friday, December 18th sounds like a perfect birthday to me.

[Karianna]

Best of luck. This is all so exciting, even if it isn't exactly what you had envisioned. Best wishes for your whole family!

[Beth]

Sending you lots of good thoughts and prayers!! Can't wait to see pictures of your new baby and her big brother!

[elizabeth]

You're all in my thoughts and I can't wait to hear the news of Olive's arrival! Go with the flow...
xo

[pixiemama]

Delurking (sent by my dear friend Niksmom) to say... acupuncture is well-known for inducing labor.

Wishing you a happy and healthy baby girl who arrives right on time, whatever time that might be.

[Tina McGauthiar]

Nacho and I are thinking of you guys!

[susanna eve]

When I had my first homebirth, I had to take castor oil at 17 days late, had a really rough fast labour, tore like crazy and hurt for a year all while still parenting 2 other kids under the age of 4. My midwife reminded me that it is important not to lose sight of the fact that you are having a baby and not a birth:) I'm sorry you may not have the natural birth you had hoped for but by tomorrow evening you will be holding your beautiful daughter. Sending positive energy and strength to you as you go through a transformative experience and birth your daughter.

[Megan]

I am so very excited for your family. I love the updates!

PS. What is the time difference between ya'll and the east coast?

[Candice]

Oh, the irony of being overdue with Olive. =) Granted, I did end up having a "natural" childbirth in the sense that I went into labor on my own, but mine went a lot faster than I could have anticipated. Charley and I never really had a birth plan other than some generic desires, but once I was in labor and was puking and in the worst pain of my life, I didn't really care about how long I supposedly wanted to go without an epidural. I just wanted to be able to enjoy the process and not hurt so horridly. And my experience and my concerns ahead of labor were nothing like yours, so there isn't any comparison. For me in hindsight, I have the burden sometimes of the sad knowledge that it might be the only birth experience I ever have, which I never expected would be the case. But we can get used to the "change of plans" in everything, I guess. And in the end, you can never plan how exactly your baby enters the world. They decide for you.

Keeping my fingers crossed that you go into labor on your own or else that the induction goes smoothly and perfectly! And if it's a C-secion in the end again, I hope you have as much peace as possible with the decision in the end. I understand the disappointments, though. Meg had a scheduled C-section after her induction with Casey; I wonder what her thoughts are on the differences or if they matter.

Best of luck to you, Nick, Olive, and Elias!! Can't wait!!

[Deidre]

I'm still holding out hope for a natural delivery for you. No matter how Olive comes, fingers crossed for a positive and healthy labor, delivery, and birth. So very soon you'll be holding your little girl. Good luck, I'll be thinking about all of you tomorrow. Love to all.

[Courtney]

Ahhhh....*ahem*....This may be a little out of place but ahhh, you know, "IT" is well known for inducing labor. Soooo. There ya go. *Slinks off sheepishly.*

[Hairy Farmer Family]

Ahhh, honey. I don't know whether to smile or cry! Thinking of you lots.

[Jaki]

I think the best thing posted above is that "you are having a baby not a birth". From following your blog for so long I know how much you want your body to "not fail you" and to deliver "naturally". But...being on the outside and being allowed the glimpses into your life that you have allowed us for so long I think that no matter what....this pregnancy is proof that your body had not failed. Regardless of how Olive ends up in your arms...where she belongs...the achievement is that she is going to end up there AFTER her due date....what more proof is needed that you body has done everything but fail! You have achieved the miracle of growing a human being for over 40 weeks....now...just get her here safely...for you and for her! But, I do know that you are having mixed feelings...even 5 1/2 years after Jeremy was born by induction I still wish once in a while that I had had that moment in the middle of somewhere crazy that my water broke...but I don't have that story to tell...I do have a story though and it is my story and Jeremy's story and I do have a healthy baby boy...uhm...well...little man now!

Also, I think that December 18 is a great day too....looks like there are about 10 Olympic Athletes that have December 18th as their birthday....also...Brad Pitt...what girl wouldn't want to share thier birthday with Brad Pitt!!!!

[Shelley]

Everyone has already said everything perfectly. Your girl will be here soon and all will be right. (PS- I can't wait to see you all together, either!)

[Stacy Harrell]

Thinking of you constantly. Jack was a 28 weeker, Brooke a 41 weeker, didn't even induce, as she wasn't dropped or anything!! My doc. advised to go straight to the 2nd Csection. The irony is truly thick. Experienced so many similar emotions as you are now! Regardless of the way Olive comes out, she's almost here, she's full term, and I am damn excited for you and your family! Merry Christmas!!!!

[JenniferB]

I am so excited for you that you have been able to carry Olive to full term -- and praying that all will go well for you all tomorrow! Such a joyful time!

[Jennifer LD]

I didn't end up with the type of birth I always imagined (instead had a scheduled c-section due to some last minute issues) but holding my little dude shortly thereafter did erase the disappointment. You must have created a nice home for her since she is so content to hang out in there past her due date but how cool to know you will be meeting her tomorrow!

Best of luck-I'll be checking the blog for updates! What a wonderful Christmas present for you all. :)

[Christy]

All your words matter so much. Thank you! Unless anything changes in the next six hours I'll be at the hospital starting the process at 6:00. (We are four hours behind the east coast here in AK) And when all else fails I'll remember to be tough and breathe. Love to all of you, Christy

[Kellie]

Good luck!! You are going to have an amazing labor with a beautiful ending. I can't wait to hear all about Olive's big day and see all the adorable pictures.

[nurse tara]

best of luck today, i'm sure you will all be amazing no matter what turns the day takes!!
much love and good thoughts from canada to you!

[Jessica]

I will be thinking about you ALL day! Can't wait to her of Olive's arrival!

[Sharon]

Thinking about you! Can't wait to hear all is well and you are holding your baby girl!

[NM Liz]

Hope all is going well! Lots of people out here rooting for all of you.

[nerissa]

Thinking of you and checking for updates, perhaps a bit complusively. Wishing you well!

[Emily]

Thinking of you and hoping all is going well too! I do so hope that you'll be busy enjoying little Olive once she arrives and showing her off to your family, but know that all of us on the internet are beaming picturing it too. :)

[paige]

All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)

Hoping to "meet" baby Olive soon.

[Deidre]

Christy it is too bad you don't have ads on here, I've clicked through like 20 times today, with everyone else on here you'd be rich! Thinking of you and hoping you have your baby girl in your arms nursing up a storm with her dad, big brother and all 4 grandparents looking on.
D

[emily kurn]

Ditto to what Deidre said....my thoughts are with you guys!!! I'm checking the blog obsessively!

[heather]

thinking of you and hoping all is well

[Jessica]

Here for the 40th time today :P to bad there isn't a chat feature on here so all of us obsessive checkers could support each other :P

[Jaki]

We can chat with each other through comments....(-: Christy will enjoy reading it...eventually...I am sure she will have better things to do for a while...I'm right there with everyone else...visit number 234 today!!!

[Erin]

Surely all went well and there is a happy new family of 4 in Alaska right now...
But I'm dying for an update!!!
And a picture. or ten. :)