Sometimes

Do you think I'd be considered a bad parent if I asked the docs to vaccinate my baby every day?

Or if I took the advice given in jest: "Just stop feeding her till she stops crying."

Yeah right.

2:00 a.m. at our house (or was it 3:00?), an hour after Olive finally settles her frantic energy into sleep, after her extended howls cease and her gripped body relaxes, and we all begin to breathe a little deeper, I hear Nick, his voice frustrated but firm: "Elias, you can not roll over onto your sister!" and I find myself smiling despite it all.

"Is she any better?" my Mom asks.

And the answer is no, not really, she still cries inexplicably for hours at night, when everything feels darker anyways, and the fact that its not every night makes it both easier and harder. Its nice to receive a reprieve. But it makes the screams even more uninvited when they return.

And yet...

I can laugh now when she cries. I don't always take it personally, like she's screaming at me: "How dare you....!!!!!"

I can hold her when she howls without joining in, without falling apart right along with her.

Sometimes.

And sometimes is all we really got.

Happy Friday.

Comments

[Teresa Curry]

It's unfortunate really that you haven't had an opportunity to enjoy the newborn phase. You missed it with your son and your poor daughter isn't making it easy. I'm sure you've been told this a million times but it does get better :) A couple of things you might want to try (if you haven't already)
1. a snugglie (my daughter used to cry alot until I put her in one of those and she loved it)
2. put her in her car seat and put her on top of a running washing machine
3. run the vacuum cleaner.

if none of those work... drink (just kidding)

[Niksmom]

It sounds like it's worse at night? Or laying down? (Lying down?) If that's the case, investigate reflux. It's EXCRUCIATING for little kids AND it's worse when they're horizontal.

Wishi I had a magic wand for you. :-( Sending good thoughts your way.

[Sange]

There are medicines that you can try. Has Olive been seen by a GI doc to try to help with her crying. She is crying out of pain and perhaps the doc can prescribe something better to take her pain away.
I wish you luck and a good nights sleep! ;)

[Heather]

ugh! Poor little bug. Hopefully things even out soon. 6 weeks seemed to be the magic number for my kid, when her digestive system seemed to catch up with life in general. Good luck!

[Stacy]

One more suggestion (I hope this isn't annoying), I have been holding off suggesting it, b/c it IS a BUMMER......giving up dairy. Both my babes were screamers, until I diliegently withheld dairy from my diet. Could Elias tolerate dairy? You may have already been down this road with E. Anyway, if so, you know that it takes 14 days to get out of your system, so you many want to test drive with a dairy free formula first to see if that even makes a difference.

[Nicole]

Awww....poor little bug. A sad face like that just twists your heart and I want to reach through the screen and do something!

[susanna eve]

The fact that it is not every night, would seem to point to some trigger rather than just a chronic ongoing issue. Have you tried keeping a food diary and see if there is any connection between what you eat and her worst nights? It can take up to 24 hours for something you eat to bother your baby.

[heather]

no advice - I didn't have any screamers - just a HANG IN THERE!! and I'm sorry it's so tough right now

[Noel Dennehy]

Just sending lots of hugs....Everyone gives you such good advice and you just need to pick and choose what feels right for you.
We are seeing your parents next weekend and you know your ears will be burning.

[Kaydomsky]

If its not one thing it will be another- As I write this my youngest is currently screaming her head off- nothing seems to work for us except handing her over to our tenant to use his never ending energy of jiggling her, making weird noises and being a night owl. Is her dr concerned at all? Or is this being chalked up to colic/ or just a phase. Good luck and hang in there.

[Courtney]

Could it be her nervous system is still adjusting to being "out"? Perhaps she just gets overwhelmed by it all sometimes? I know you've wracked your brain, heart, soul for clues and cures. If it helps at all, she is awfully delicious, even with that crabby appleton face and those tears. Poor sweet thing! We're all rootin' for ya!
P.S. I never officially de-lurked. Didn't realize I was 'sposed to. So, de-lurking now, hope I didn't offend you! :)

[elizabeth]

I'm totally feeling for you! Have you tried signing Stevie Nicks to her? Olive might be a fan...

[[email protected]]

Hugs.

[Emily]

I'm so sorry the little lady keeps screaming her head off. I'll visualize calm, peaceful sleeping baby.. for all of you. Hang in there.

[Christy]

Courtney, no de-lurking rules here so no offense taken:)

And check, check and check to most of your fabulous suggestions: the vaccum, the dryer, the snugglie, treating for reflux, cutting out dairy...

I'm now on an even bigger food purge which makes me feel DEPRIVED...but for my baby's comfort I'll try what I can.

I'm leaning towards something along the lines of what Courtney wrote, that she's still adjusting to the world and just freaks out at night sometimes..and sometimes during the day...and sometimes for hours...I don't know...Stevie Nicks is next:)

Thank you for your calming thoughts and hugs!