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Hi Christy,

I just saw a video about this guy: http://www.attitudeisaltitude.com/ -- have you seen it before? I thought maybe it would help you think of something to say to Elias.

Just yesterday I had a conversation with my oldest where we were discussing the fact that her brother just "knows" math with apparently no effort. She has had to struggle with math, so she would certainly liked to have had his abilities. But she seems like she rolls with the fact that he does and she doesn't, maybe for a couple of reasons: she has things that she is great at and loves; she and her brother have a pretty good relationship. (She did not discover her passion for music until she was about 10yo, so don't panic if Elias doesn't know yet!)

At 10, Toby has started to struggle with the fact that on some level CP limits him from some stuff. I see it as his own grieving period. It's really hard to see him go through it. Earlier, he saw CP as a difference not a limit... I spend a lot of time talking about how everyone needs help, and in our family everyone gets the help they need (he's extremely aplologetic about being alive practically - he thinks he's a burden - which yes totally breaks my heart. Part of it is just his personality; part the CP struggle).

I also just read this really cool article on reframing kids' weaknesses such that commonalities with everyone are highlighted - e.g., the kid who struggles academically is learning the art of practice which is a useful lifelong skill for everyone. Worth a read: http://www.pbs.org/parents/supersisters/archives/2010/06/finding-merit-in-weakness.html

Maybe you will be surprised (once again) by Elias. He may show pride in his sister, rather than jealousy... especially knowing how hard it all can be. Fingers crossed.

I'm with Erin. And I have confidence that you will handle it with grace and compassion when/if it does come.

What a terrific picture of Elias!

This post brought tears to my eyes.. I knew where you were going from the very beginning. I knew because I work with kids with CP every day.. I LOVE kids with CP every day, actually, I do this in large part because of your blog. I have worked with kids with autism for the last 10 years and recently I transfered to a school that specialize in physical and cognitive disabilities. I wanted a change. I still tutor kids with autism, but I've learned a lot about the physical challenges.. and wow oh wow a "typically" developing child blows my mind. It's nothing short of a miracle. When you know what "midline" means, when you know how hard it is to transfer items from hand to hand, to use both sides of the body together, you realize the miracles unfolding in front of you.. enjoy it! I have no doubt your spirit and love for Elias will help sustain him and you as you both answer the difficult questions ahead. As someone who's followed your pregnancy from the beginning, here's a toast to Olive... thriving, healthy and now mobile!!!

Olive is gorgeous, as is Elias' smile. I cannot imagine what those growth spurts and cognitive changes mean to you, but i do watch and rejoice with you as both of your children grow at their own speed.

Elias and Olive are both wonderful kids. They'll hit the inevitable bumpy spots in life -- we all do. But they have the loving, understanding parents and caregivers who give them a head start in handling those things with grace. Yay for both of them!

Late reply here from me though I loved the links, your comments, and as always your support and your understanding.

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