...with a few more hours of sleep.
1. Sex. And how it can be beautiful and not just scary, shameful, secretive or "bad". And that our daughters need to hear this side of the story too.
2. Elias's perfect spelling test, ten out of ten words right.
3.What I wish I had been able to say to the hospitalized mom when the Office of Children's Services took her children away.
4. How utterly exhausted I feel as a mother. How sometimes it's just so damn hard. For all of us, no matter the circumstances.
5. That I lost my hockey game last night, 7 to 1, after driving all the way to fucking Wasilla. (Sorry, Mom.)
(6. How I still don't like to cuss in front of my mother, or anyone in her generation or older. That I was raised to be a proper girl but sometimes even us good girls need to use those banned words.)
7. That after over two weeks of zero degree weather, 25 feels downright balmy.
8. That the other day Elias asked Nick, "Daddy, what are you doing with my Ipad?"
Yes, Elias, thanks to the kindness and generosity of others, has his very own, Ipad, that he already knows how to navigate better than I do, and what this means for Nick and I is that our boy who has never sat still for more than 15 minutes to watch a screen (unless he's sick) will give us about an hour of "free time".
The word thankful covers only a smidgen of what I feel.
9. That Elias can spell: He can read these words.
My brain damaged former preemie can read and write.
He has beyond a zillion questions about the world right now, an exhaustive repertoire of Why's. And his own ideas and opinions about the world.
He told me the other night as we snuggled in bed. "Someday I'm gonna build a log cabin."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, Daddy's gonna teach me."
"I bet he will." I smiled. "What will it look like?"
"It will be like David's cabin, only smaller." He turned his head from side to side in that tired way of his, his eyes not seeing, his mind dreaming, "And I'll keep it in a tree and put food in it, so the bears won't get it."
"Oh like a cache!?" We'd shown him one once or twice, months ago. "That's a great idea!"
Elias rubbed his eyes, put his head on his pillow and smiled towards me, reaching his hand out to find my face.
"What type of food would you keep in it?" I asked.
"Z-Bars, and fruit-leathers and cheese..."
"What kind of cheese?" (He comes from a long line of inquisitive folk.)
His smile grew. "Mozzarella, and Cheddar and Jarlsberg..."
10. And how Olive wakes again and again and again and again...
...but all it takes is a smile and she's forgiven.
yep. that spelling test is definitely refrigerator material!
I want to read all these stories! But I'll imagine them until you have time and sleep and other fancy stuff enough to think about doing it.
love to everybody!
Ginna
Posted by: Ginna | 01/23/2011 at 10:43 PM
Hey, I swear now and then. It's allowed! It's a great way to let out your frustrations which recently you have had a few! You had a rough week. We love you and can't wait to see you in the Spring! I know all of your New England friends can't wait to see you either!!
Posted by: Mom | 01/24/2011 at 05:01 AM
have you thought about food sensitivities as a cause for Olive's frequent night waking? My daughter started sleeping longer stretches once I stopped eating wheat and stopped giving it to her. Dairy bothers her too. Yes she was well over 1 at the time and still nursing too. At age 14 she still gets me up at least once almost every night but that is so much better than the 3+ times a night she woke when she was much younger.
Posted by: susanna eve | 01/24/2011 at 05:51 AM
Mmm, Jarlsberg. That boy has good taste. Could you get him to add a little Brie to the stash as well?
Posted by: Sarah | 01/24/2011 at 01:57 PM
Sarah, your speaking to my heart with Brie, especially when its warmed with brown sugar, mmmm, so yes, i may need to ask him to add it to his cache. And as to Jarlsberg whenever we are in Costco he requests specialty cheeses...the boy does have good taste.
Susanna Eve, I think we need to have her checked for food sensitivities or allergies. I tested myself during her first few months when she screamed all the time and nothing came up but Nick and I have talked about getting her tested. She also had reflux and frequent ear infections so somethings not right...it would be nice to find an answer as I'm tired of her waking up every three hours...
Mom, thanks for writing b/c you made me feel better about my post. And yes, I have heard you slip with a cuss word once or twice:) And yes, it was a rough week!
Miss you Ginna! And yes someday i will write about all of it!
(How many times can I say yes?)
Posted by: Christy | 01/24/2011 at 07:59 PM
You are one lucky Momma, look at those beautiful kiddos!
I know it's frigid up there, b/c it pretty darn cold down here in Minnesota too (Friday is supposed to be 40 degrees, lets bust out the shorts and tank tops!)
Sorry to hear that Olive still isn't sleeping through the night I know it can be exhausting, we will pray for rest for you!
Posted by: massageon | 01/25/2011 at 05:20 AM
We never did find out the cause of our demanding baby's troubles... and she was such a screamer, it was difficult to go ANYWHERE for the first year and a half. We tried everything anyone would suggest, and family and friends would even offer to babysit (just once!) because they felt sure that they could get to the cause and right it. Never happened. But she did just seem to "get a grip" one day, and the reign of terror was over! She became the best daughter I could have asked for, and now she's 25 yrs.old. It truly seems like yesterday...
I could also say that my other "difficult" toddler/preschooler, who was forever experimenting, breaking windows, cutting the phone cord with scissors, sticking a ruler into the furnace and showing Mom: "I've got the Olympic Torch!" as he ran thru the house... well, he turned out more than all right, too. He's an engineer.
We had 8 children all together, and we've still got some littles at home, so I haven't retired as Mom just yet. Just seems that the more trouble they gave me when young, the better they turned out, somehow. Just want to give you some encouragement. The hours and hours of attention you give, the sleep you miss - it will all pay off in the end.
Posted by: Kate J | 01/26/2011 at 07:09 PM
Thanks for the prayers and the words of encouragement you two! Kate J, i love hearing about "difficult" babies/toddlers turning into wonderful daughters/sons. Cutting the phone cord with scissors is a good one! Thank goodness for today's cell phones and cordless telephones!
Posted by: Christy | 01/26/2011 at 07:59 PM