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05/12/2011

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Christy, I know well those moments; they are painful. But they are also not the end of dreams. With Nik, I have learned to leave room for the unexpected, to form new dreams. Sometime, I find that dreams I thought abandoned were merely put on hold until Nik was ready.

Sending you love, thoughts of peace, and holding a space for new dreams to rise up.

I don't know jack but...
Maybe you are listening for the wrong music?
Maybe you should have your ear cocked for a Vivaldi symphony...or the pleasure of the birds twittering ion a newly dressed branch.
That is just my way of saying if you know that one dream won't come true, I am really, really hoping that some other, even better one, will.
Hang in there, Christy.

Your words remind me of There is a Castle on a Cloud sung by Cosette in Les Miserables. I can't completely understand another's world of unrealized expectations or pain of loss, but I do understand the love a mother holds for her child. And I know that Elias is the luckiest child in the world to have your love and Nick's love (and your entire family's love). Cosette only wanted someone to love her. :)

Just Monday a friend said to me "Sometimes you just have to redefine what your definition of success is." Her adult son had spent years pursuing a dream, that will not be coming true. I think she is right.

{{{hugs}}} and a glass of wine...

your words remind me of the saying that when God closes a door, a window opens somewhere unexpected. I think all of us can find some truth in that. XoX.

Love. That's the beginning and the end. And the thread that runs all the way through. Love, period.

and sometimes well meaning relatives hold out those dreams and hopes when deep down and late at night in the dark you know that they aren't going to happen. But somewhere along the way, small miracles do happen even if they are not the ones you were expecting and in the meantime life goes on one day at a time.

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

se, the well meaning part is so true, people who care and want to erase the hurt often hold onto expectations for me that I am in the process of letting go...to be replaced, (yes Danielle), by music to a different beat, different dreams, unexpected miracles, and the joy of making it over those distant mountains.

Love always carries us and I know Elias is lucky to be loved by so many: thank you all.

I think this post comes from the dawning that Elias's damaged brain doesn't just affect his balance, mobility, coordination, and vision but his communication too. And there's a part of me that has still held onto that hope that Elias will "pass", that he wont always stand out as different but would blend in with time and people would say, "Wow, I would have never known he had such a rough start." There's a boy at school with CP who walks with a slight limp but otherwise plays soccer and runs and swings and jumps and has buddies and I didn't know he had CP till his mom told me and a part of me wanted to cry because that was my dream for Elias.

But yes, its not the end and I don't know what is ahead, what doors will open or what success will look like for Elias. What dreams he'll realize that I never could have built in the sand.

Big hug to you, Christy.
XOXOX

Christy, do you write poetry? You've got some great metaphors and imagery there. You might like to visit Laura Purdie Salas's blog because she has poetry prompts and also exercises from Writing the Life Poetic: http://laurasalas.livejournal.com/ I know you're busy, but if you have a chance you might like to check it out.
Tabatha

Tabatha, before having kids I wrote a lot of poetry and even got into the whole poetry slam scene but have written less and less as my time has dwindled with children. I do want to get back into it though so I will check out the link. Thanks!

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