Crash Landing

"Why don't you jump too Ms. Christy?"

How could I resist.

I climb to the highest peak of the plowed pile of snow.

Smile at the boys.

And launch.

 

We interrupt this story to say I feel too overwhelmed to write. I lie on my bed with a bruised tailbone and a zillion thoughts in my head.

 

I jump up not down.

And I don't stick the landing.

 

 "You're the best teacher Ms. Christy."

I shrug or shake my head.

"Thanks." Call him by name.

"No, really, you are!"

 

It's a write-and-delete kind of evening. A stare-at-the-computer-screen-fingers-still-kind of night. You know, one of those I'll-write-tomorrow kind of weeks.

 

Sometimes you just gotta jump.

Comments

[danielle in zurich]

Hi Christy, so sorry you fell flat on your ass. Happens to us all.
I have been in parenting crisis mode--my five year old is driving me insane. I write this to make you feel better (cause we all like to hear when others are being driven mad--makes us feel less alone) and to make ME feel better--cause I want you to tell me that sometimes it is normal to feel like you just can't stand another meltdown.
Sigh.
I hope the increased sunshine helps and that you will be well enough to strap on skis and go for a glide sometime soon...

[Christy]

Flat on my ass indeed, Danielle. Right on a big chunk of ice. Still hurts to sit but getting a little less sore each day. My mantra when I walked to school the following day was, "I'm not 9, I'm 39. I'm not 9, I'm 39...". One of the kids said it perfectly when I told him that I hurt myself. "We're kids we don't mind getting hurt." It's b/c they bounce better than we do!

As to the melt-downs, I'm right there with you. Olive has reached a new stage of throwing herself on the ground and screaming whenever she doesn't get her way, like when we won't let her push a chair around the kitchen so she can try to reach the stove or the knives or the freezer...And Elias, oh Elias, his idea of helping is pulling her off that said chair by her hair. So yes, I get your frustration and find myself many an evening thinking, "Is it their bedtime yet?" It may only be 4:30 but I'm ready to put them down and close the door and sink into the couch and imagine I'm my across the street neighbors who chose not to have any kids. Imagine that? So much time!

And yet, as always, Elias and Olive save me (and themselves) by doing something endearing or comical or loving right when I need it most. God love em. Thank you for writing Danielle. Share your angst anytime.

Oh, and I even missed a hockey game b/c of my bruised bottom so you know it must be bad. Lack of exercise doesn't help with my responses to my children's melt-downs. Hoping to get on my skis or skates this week.

[Kate J]

Ouch, ouch, ouch. This has happened to me. And even more than the bruising, what hurts is facing the limitations of a tomboy in middle age. I will keep moving, but more carefully. *sigh*
Sending you healing energy...

[danielle in zurich]

"And yet, as always, Elias and Olive save me (and themselves) by doing something endearing or comical or loving right when I need it most. God love em. "
That was today--endearing galore. And of course I will continue to share my angst if you share yours---isn't that what it is all about?? I hope your rear improves...

[Becka]

So glad to know that I'm not the only one who wishes for bedtime sometimes...as much crap as you have to deal with, I find myself feeling jealous of the relationship that you and your husband have...I say this to remind you of the blessings that you do have (although you don't seem to need the perspective!) thanks so much for writing- I always feel uplifted after reading your blog, no matter what the subject matter is!

[Christy]

Kate J, oh you nailed it. Even more than my sore tush is my sore ego that I just can't jump so high anymore. Or land nearly as well. Oy age. But I was finally able to run today and so I'm back on the upswing, more cautious yes, but moving again.

Danielle, glad endearing arrived just in time:)

Becka, thank you for your kind words. I know that Nick and I are lucky to have each other amidst all the challenges. We rarely have to work on our relationship and this is a gift when everything else feels hard. And yes, I loooove my kids bedtime:)