Or: How I Almost Died But Didn't Last Thursday Night
Mistake Number One: I didn't fully lock the ladder.
Mistake Number Two: I placed the six-foot ladder on uneven ground.
Mistake Number Three: I over-reached.
After we put the kids down at 8:00, with a few hours of sunlight left, Nick and I decided to trim the spent blooms from our backyard Lilac tree.
Before I could even climb up my ladder, I had to search all over the yard for my new clippers. As Nick would say, I'm a "putter-downer." So, of course, they weren't in the watering can where I keep my garden tools. I finally found them in the first place I had looked, but obviously not well enough.
I started clipping blooms standing on the first rung, but before long climbed to the top step. As I reached to the side, the ladder closed on me and toppled toward the tree, giving me just enough time to think about landing. Oh Shit!
I somehow managed to get my hands to the ground first and rolled to my side, never letting go of my new razor sharp sheers.
I'm OK. I didn't move for a moment as I mentally assessed my bones. I'm Ok.
I stood up as Nick approached, "I'm Ok."
"You're bleeding from your neck!"
When I dropped and rolled I punctured my upper neck / lower chin with the clippers.
I could have fucking killed myself!!
"I'm alright." I kept saying, adrenaline masking the pain of all the scrapes and bruises across the right side of my body that raked the ladder as it fell to the heavy earth. Not to mention the puncture wound in my neck.
I tried to keep clipping the tree. Nick pulled out the med-kit from the garage.
A little lower, a little deeper, and man, it could have been so much worse.
Thankfully, I didn't hit my head. Didn't smash an elbow or a knee. Nick put a band-aid under my chin. We checked-over the rest of me. No blood.
And being stubborn. And well, me, I continued to clip that god damn lilac tree. That beautiful majestic lilac tree.
I started down low, both feet on the ground. But after a while I faced that six-foot ladder and asked Nick to help me set it up. He made sure it was fully locked. He checked the stability of the ground, moving the ladder until it stood firm.
I started on the first step. Slowly climbed up two more. Nick stood on his ladder besides me. "You don't have to..."
"I know I don't for this tree. But I need to for me." I climbed to the top step. And I clipped the easy-to-reach brown blooms before they went to seed, not straying from those directly in front of me.
"Alright, I think I need to sit now."
"Sounds good."
And that was how I almost died but didn't last Thursday Night.
I'm bruised and sore but really, I'm Ok.
Oh my!! So glad you weren't seriously injured. Hope recovery is quick!
Posted by: Laura | 08/28/2012 at 06:09 AM
So glad you are ok. And glad you got back up again.
Posted by: Niksmom | 08/28/2012 at 06:26 AM
Very glad you are O.K., and I'll bet the exercise you regularly get contributed to your ability to land and roll.
Posted by: Sarah Lynn | 08/28/2012 at 10:27 AM
So glad you are okay!
Posted by: Kimberly | 08/28/2012 at 10:40 AM
WOW! Scary! Glad all is well... and you show that damn tree who's boss!
Posted by: Shelley | 08/28/2012 at 04:25 PM
now you have a great excuse for taking a very long bubble bath...
so relieved you are ok.
um, be careful!
xo
Posted by: elizabeth | 08/28/2012 at 05:23 PM
I think this post is giving your parents heart attacks! stay safe my friend!
Posted by: fleming | 08/28/2012 at 05:45 PM
I am relieved you are okay...and what I love about your writing, as someone who doesn't know you, is that you have the most fucking VOICE of anyone in the cyber world! Thank you!
Posted by: Traci | 08/28/2012 at 07:02 PM
Glad you are okay! Hope you treated yourself to a drink afterwards.
Posted by: Lee | 08/28/2012 at 07:51 PM
Sarah Lynn, falling all the time in soccer and hockey definitely helped with my ability to land well. (Minus the forgetting to drop the clippers).
Flem, I made sure to call my parents on Friday and tell them the story so they didn't read it her for the first time:)
Yes, Lee, I did have a drink afterwards and Traci, what a compliment, thank you!
To all, I'm no longer walking like I'm 80, my bruises are awfully pretty and it has made for a great story for the kids here at school. I have even brought a 6-foot ladder into classrooms and used my fall as a metaphor for my role as a counselor. We will all fall and my job is to help them figure out how to rise again. When I climb to the top rung, I definitely have all the students attention. And yes, I make sure to set up the ladder properly:)
Posted by: Christy | 08/30/2012 at 11:01 AM
Glad you are okay and impressed you were able to make it a teaching point!
Posted by: Kate | 08/31/2012 at 01:26 PM
Soccer and hockey helped I'm sure, but careful with those sharp edges!! Glad you're OK!! :)
Posted by: missy | 09/07/2012 at 05:39 PM