The Land of the Free Unless

My daughter, bare-bottomed and bold, jumps from the arm of the couch to the dog bed below.

She howls like a wolf and hugs me like a bear.

Olive, my almost-three-year-old little tyrant, smirks as she demands: "More water Mama! More Water! MAMA!"

She walks around the house with a yard sign given to her at our local library. She insists on "hanging" it, wooden post and all, from the kitchen table. When her brother grabs it so he can hold it closer to read-- A Library Champion Lives Here-- she screams, "No My sign!" Instant tears. That stop as quickly as they appear.

"Nuggle me Mama!" she says at night. So we lie together like spoons. "I love you Mama. And Daddy. And Elias. And Tonzy. And my friends. And my bears. And my bed..."

When we take a walk, she runs. She jumps. She picks up stones and chunks of snow. When she sees a small wall she tilts her head to the side, looks up at me, and says, "Lalala?" When I nod she climbs up and walks along it, one foot in front of the other, with her arms out-stretched, singing, "Lalalalalalalalala...."

At dinner she stands in her chair with a handful of chicken looking at her reflection in the darkened window. She shoves too big of a bite in her mouth and opens her lips wide.

"Sit down Olive!"

"But I can't see."

"Sit."

She jumps onto my back, her arms tight around my neck. "Horsy ride Mom!"

As we do dishes she dances to James Brown, throwing herself on the floor and spinning around on her back. Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now...

I hate to think that someday all this uninhibited energy could be shackled by sexism.

That someday she'll look at her reflection and think, "I'm not _________ enough."

Pretty... Tall... Skinny... Light...

That she'll judge herself in relation to her value to men, instead of by her ability to be true to the light that guides her.

I want her to stay this bold. To leap and howl and love her body bare.

This afternoon, I read about school girls in Pakistan, attacked by the Taliban, with acid, just for attending school. 

I live in the United States of America, the land of the supposed "free" --and yet I worry about the future here for women and girls, especially if it is up to gray-haired white men to decide our reproductive rights. To define rape. To legislate our bodies.

I just don't understand how any man can think he knows what is best for a woman. Hell, I don't know what's best for myself, I am in no position to make decisions for others.

The land of the free unless...

Its hard not to get political these days.

Especially when it is so personal.

Comments

[danielle in zurich]

I totally get this and am with you (and your Olive...and my Mimi.) However, I'm as leery of lumping grey-haired white men together as I am of lumping black men together. Your beloved may become a grey haired white man one day, and mine is halfway there.... :)

[fleming]

Such fabulously willful, spirited pictures. She will keep most of it because she has parents that support her in this way. As for politics, the swing state of Ohio feels like anything but that in Cincinnati. Every neighborhood sign is for Romney. I don't have a sign in my yard since I don't like to advertise but when my 7 year old daughter's friend asked her whom she would vote for in the school election, Kaki said Obama. When asked why she said, " because the other guy doesn't like big bird." Life is still black and white for her. There are good guys and bad guys. I love that she doesn't see the complexities of grey. oh and any Halloween pics?

[Christy]

Danielle, I hear ya, I know a lot of fabulous gray-haired white men who support women to make their own choices. I guess that comment comes from the fact that we've had a few too many grey-haired white politicians here in the states making the national news for their ignorant comments about women's reproductive rights. And I don't just mean men who are against abortion. I respect everyone to have their own opinion, and strong ones at that, on the issue of where and when life begins. But comments like if its a real rape than a women's body has a way to shut that down and not get pregnant. But yes, it could have just as easily been a black man. Or brown. Hell, I could even hear a woman making a comment like this.

Flem, I love Kaki's response. So perfect for seven. As too Halloween pics we had a bit of a costume rejection from both kids at the last minute so Elias ended up in his snow gear (it was 20 degrees) and a Cat in the Hat hat and Olive in her snow suit with butterfly wings. I didn't get any great pics but will post some this week:)

[Teresa]

I'm not grey headed... nor a man. I'm a strong, independent woman that works in a mans field. I love America and all of our rights and freedoms and our ability to make our own choices. However, I'm very much pro-life and believe that your choices are no longer your own once you have a life inside of you. You can choose to have sex, you can choose to use birth control. You should not be able to choose to end a life. Obviously there are men out there that say the most idiotic things and there are exceptions to every rule, i.e. rape and incest....

[Christy]

Teresa, I respect you devotion to life. I hope that affordable health care remains an option for women and girls so that they can have access to contraception as well as support both during and after their pregnancy. I work with children living in poverty who need advocates who are very much pro-life. And yes, there are exceptions to every rule which is why I worry about the government legislating women's bodies. This issue is just so complicated...

[Lee]

I have had issues with this election also. It is very distressing that issues that should have been tabled 50-plus yrs ago have arisen again. As someone who was assaulted (after a date), I do take offense some of the controversy about the semantics of the definition of rape. After all, there are no similar debates about the 'forcible' rape of men or talk about overage of Viagara/Cialas.

As for Olive's self-image, she seems to be very spunky and I bet that will carry over into her teen years and beyond. And the sand-covered butt pic? LOL!

[Teresa]

Well said Christy. I wish that there were a common ground but this is definitely a sensitive issue for so many. I hope whomever is elected tomorrow truly believes in making life a little bit easier for all; whether it be in health care, employment, deployment, marriage, etc...

[valerie demming]

I just can't help myself...I am as pro-life as many folks out there, BUT only after the birth of the child. Where are the folks that are pro-life helping children such as the kiddos that Christy works with? The children that I counsel that are abused and who have parents that really don't love or want them? We don't provide enough services for them to survive in a healthy environment. So much more to say, however, I will stop here. Valerie

[Lisa Y]

I look at my girls sometimes and wonder what it is about themselves, as perfect as they are to me, that they will look in the mirror and wish to change. Working in junior high I see how the girls twist and turn and bury themselves to fit the mold and I worry for my own three sweet and wild girls and hope so much they won't lose themselves.