"Why?"

I curl my body around Olive's in her small green toddler bed.

"I don't want to go to bed!"

"Its bedtime Babe."

"I don't like my green bed!"

We recently put a sleeping bag and yoga mat in our room next to our bed so when Olive comes to join us in the middle of the night she has her own space instead of dominating ours. The downside is she now thinks this is her bed and throws a fit when I carry her to her room at night.

"I don't love my green bed!!"

"I like your green bed. I think its perfect." I push her fine brown hair, the same texture as mine, out of her eyes. "You know Olive, some kids don't even have a bed."

She looks at me concerned, "Why Mama?"

I think of all the kids from my school who live in trailers with families three times the size of mine.

"Some families just can't afford to buy beds for their kids."

"Why Mama?" She draws out the word why, sings it almost, like butter.

"Well, because beds cost money and not every family has enough money to buy one."

"Why Mama?"

"Well, um,... because not everyone learned how to share when they were kids."

"Why Mama?"

"Because maybe their parents didn't teach them to share."

"Why Mama?"

"Um...maybe they were just too busy."

"Why Mama?"

"Um...I don't know." Her why's have won. I can't find the answers. "I'm just glad you like to share."

"Why Mama?"

This could go on forever.

And how do we explain inequality to the innocent eyes of a child?

Comments

[Lisa Y]

This is such a hard thing to talk about with little ones. I usually tell mine it's because not everyone's mommy and papa have good jobs like theirs and that we're very fortunate. So we have to share some of what we have. I hope my girls always will.

[Lee]

Here's another take on the conversation. Olive is still a toddler, but it was her bedtime and her constant 'Why' questions were probably more to delay her actual bedtime than to get answers. It works great at naptime too! ;)

[Christy]

Lee I think she would have said, "why mama?" to almost anything I said that night to not go to bed, true. Yet she did change her demeanor when I told her some kids don't have beds --from whiny brat to kind-hearted angel-- so I think a part of her was actually curious. At two almost three she won't yet ask the tough questions about inequality but my guess is we will have some challenging conversations before too long. Until then she will merely delay bedtime...

Lisa, good answer, I too hope we will always share...