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I am so sorry that you have to live with this "not knowing" AGAIN. Fight for it the best you can. Don't give up. We are rooting for you!

Thank you Karen, I feel valued by staff, students, and Mike, and I think that's what kills me, b/c to the district I'm just a number. And when they do this, two years in a row, with talk of it again next year, it makes me want to pull away from my job instead of engage more, and I know staff feel like this at schools across Anchorage, and that's just not helpful for kids.

Thanks Fleming, not sure if I'll speak at the board meeting again or not. They are also cutting supports from special education so I'm tempted to wear my parent head and speak about that too. And yet part of me just wants to be a gardener, grow flowers, and counsel the kids who come over to my garden for free. (If only that would pay the bills.)

Sorry this is rearing its ugly head again! So stressful and so much uncertainty complicated by your immense sense of commitment to the kids yet a desire to walk away from it all. I totally get all of that. There is a lot of similarity with our work here. I cant remember whether i already sent you this last time if so, apologies This poem that really helps us is :http://www.dbooth.org/guat2000/small/teresa.htm
Not because we are particularly religious (we,re not) but because of the sense that we must continue the work no matter the obstacles because it is the right thing to do. I think you too will find a way to continue your important work whether it is there or somewhere else. Hugs!

Dammit. Sorry to hear this--again.
Time o write that book, Christy. Did you check out the link to Literary Mama and their submissions??
Rooting for you from across the Atlantic and the lower 49...

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