Its been a long week.
And its a rum and coke night.
And all you need is for your children to go to sleep; but of course, Elias chooses this night to explode.
To freak out about a broken hoola hoop.
"No its not broken, its not!"
"Bud, its alright."
"No!!!!"
And when you curtail the evening activities for bedtime: "No I don't want to go to bed!"
Swing of the arm. Scratch of my eye lid. (Yet Again.)
Animal grunts and door pounding.
The taking away of privileges. The questioning of how to respond. The desire to pour another drink.
And just when you think you might burst, the release of air.
The stillness after a storm.
The loving little boy who sweetly says, "Mom do you not want to go to bed?"
"I do, I really, really do."
He lets you undress him and pull on his fleece jammies. He follows you to the bathroom where you brush his teeth. Elias still can't spit, so you wash the toothbrush with water and brush his teeth again.
And then, like nothing ever happened, he climbs into bed.
"I love you Bud. Even when you are angry. Even when you make hurtful choices. I always love you."
"Can I tell you what the temperature is?" he asks looking at his bedside thermometer.
"Sure." Forget emotions. For your autistic son, its all about the numbers.
"Its 6 degrees."
"Burr. That's cold." You rub his head. He looks down at his digital screen. "Alright, Bud, Good night. I love you."
"Good night." he says, never looking up.
And you turn off his light, close the bedroom door, and finally, exhale.
UGH! What a crappy wk you've had, enough stress for 3 people let alone one. Hang in there! I hope this coming wk sucks less for u! I really hope it doesn't turn into "Happy Fucking February"! ;)
Posted by: kelly O. | 01/26/2013 at 01:31 PM
Love. That is all they need. That is all they crave. They don't always know how to tell us. Sometimes we forget how to say it. Dig for it because your well is deep. xx.
Posted by: fleming | 01/26/2013 at 07:11 PM
That is known around these parts as the terrible horrible no good very bad day and then I threaten to move to Australia. Hope the rest of the weekend was better!
Posted by: Kate | 01/27/2013 at 03:55 PM
It has been a rough week. Nick is also injured (bulging discs in his neck) so our household has been a bit stressed. And I'm just so damn tired. But on a positive note, Elias had a good end to his weekend. Went to bed easily last night and even pretended to be a "doggie" with his sister yesterday morning. I fed them dry bowls of Kix on the kitchen floor, I mean really, what can be better than that?
Posted by: Christy | 01/28/2013 at 06:28 AM
love picturing the kids playing doggie. anything to pass the long January nights. hang in there.
Posted by: fleming | 01/28/2013 at 10:19 AM