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10/22/2013

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I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse that the myriad ways a person could die have been a foundation of Anna's young life since Charley died. I had to explain it to her enough times over the years (a few months before her 3rd birthday was when she first "got it") that I've always been pretty factual and matter of fact about it. She takes it in stride -- which Olive probably would at this age too. Their conception of it and attention span are beautifully short and simple at that age.

Still sucks to have to have the question and answer, though, particularly when you've been triggered lately.

Candice, as I wrote this post I thought about Charley and his bike accident and about you having to explain everything to Anna so young. So to hear from you so quickly after publishing it makes me feel even more connected in the strange way this universe works. I know the grief we carry is different, our circumstance not the same, but your honesty always speaks to me. Some day, I know we'll meet.

Anna's handmade birthday card to me this year had a poem in it that Anna made up -- the standard 'Roses are red' beginning, but the last part was "I love you so much / I don't ever want to lose you." So while explaining how people die and that people, and pets, *can* die doesn't necessarily faze me anymore, things like her card sure do. I wasn't sure whether to cry or grin like a banshee.

And yes, one of these days we'll finally meet in person. And you're right -- different experiences of grief, but having to live with the day-to-day reality of losses we can't change is the same. You and Nick are some of the few people our age who understand that.

Best of everything to the four of you!

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