Sidelined From Within

Let's just say I let out a one syllable word that rhymes with duck the moment my skate edge caught and my knee traveled in the opposite direction. Second shift of my hockey game Sunday night. Chasing a girl almost half my age and twice as good.

Will I ever learn?

And now I sit in bed, on a sunny afternoon, with fresh snow on the ground, wearing a full leg brace, hoping my MCL (medial collateral ligament) is just mildly strained or torn. Hoping when I see the doctor again in three weeks my knee will be on its way to a full recovery and I'll be back on the ice after the Holidays. Back to hockey and soccer and skiing and running and...

Its humbling to fall.

To lay low.

To go.

So.

Slow.

I hobble down the hall, aware of my limited mobility, feeling shackled by the effort it takes to move.

Of course I think about Elias, my nine-year-old son with CP, a boy with a body and brain that communicate through a version of morse code instead of spontaneous texts.

I remind myself that my leg may be healed in six weeks. This is a temporary.

This too shall pass.

As an athlete I struggle with being still. Sports and exercise are my stress-relievers. I move to release and recharge. Often, as Elias's mother, I have thought about the irony of my own need for an active lifestyle and my son's inherent limitations.

And now here it is, my own body limited. Damaged. Sidelined from within.

Why does the world seem to offer up the same lessons to re-learn time and time again?

Slow down.

You are not immortal.

You are not in control.

Let go...

Why is it so hard to listen?

Comments

[Noel Dennehy]

Oh this is so hard for you Miss Active- you are so like your father- heaven forbid he should be off the ice!!! I always chuckle every year as they rush back from Florida so that your dad won't miss one more game on the ice! So looking forward to seeing them next year!
XOX

[Greta]

I hope it heals well, Christy. I don't know if it's the same for you, but I need to learn again and again the same lessons throughout life. And I thought I was pretty smart...

[Kate]

Hope it is just a strain and nothing worse! Feel like I keep getting the same lessons over and over again from the universe so must not be sinking in. Love this quote from Pema chodrun: nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. I keep coming back to that line.

[fleming]

argh! I don't like hearing about injuries but they do remind us of how lucky we are hundreds of days out of the year. rest well and heal fast…..meanwhile snuggle with your kiddos.

[Christy]

Slowly recovering, but yes, my lessons seem set on repeat. Must still have a lot of learning to go...:)