I sit at the Fire Tap drinking beers with my 35 and up coed soccer team. Its my first time hanging with this crew in this setting. But we have played over five games together so I have a good sense of my teammates characters, and I like each and every one.
One asks me about my kids and when he comments on the six-year age span between Olive and Elias we fall into a conversation about Elias's premature birth and subsequent challenges.
Cerebral palsy, autism, visual impairment, to name a few.
"What's he into?"
Wait, wait wait, let me say that again: He responds with, "What's he into?"
That is the question. The perfect question.
The one that keeps me from describing my current vision of Elias--Whats he like? Well, he has his challenges...-- but forces me to describe Elias from the perspective of what motivates him.
"He really likes maps and the design of houses."
"Oh yeah, me too..."
And from there we speak from a place of commonality, merging understandings instead of remaining caught in the gridlock of perceived differences.
What's he into?
What's he into?
What's he into?
Yes!
Love that! I wish I could have the best thing to say pop into my head in every situation -- wouldn't that be amazing?? THAT would be a superpower!
Posted by: Tabatha | 11/03/2014 at 03:00 AM
An excellent question: one that makes me stop and think about my own son. At the moment, it's cooking (will stop everything and come watch and help when I start cooking) and cameras.
Posted by: Tracy | 11/03/2014 at 04:46 AM
That actually made me teary. :( It's been a rough few days for my 9 yr old.
Posted by: Amanda | 11/03/2014 at 02:34 PM
:) My smiley face was upside down.
Posted by: Amanda | 11/03/2014 at 02:34 PM
Its been rough with Elias too Amanda so if he asked the question in a different way--what's he like?-- I would have answered from my current perspective of feeling so challenged by Elias's behaviors. Instead it forced me to think about what Elias likes, what motivates him, what are his core interests...a totally different answer:) Like Tracy said cooking and cameras with Elias its all housing features and street names. Tabatha, superpower indeed--the right question at the right moment, always. Wow!:)
Posted by: Christy | 11/03/2014 at 10:04 PM
love it. makes me wish all people had a visual representation of their interests - like a comic book thought bubble - hanging over their heads, so everyone could see the unique, curious, fascinating mind and spirit housed in each of us. In yoga there's the practice of bowing to the others in your class and saying "I honor the light within you" - sometimes I say that in my head when I see a person whose outward appearance causes me to feel disconnected from their humanity. It sounds like your teammate has the gift of seeking the light in others.
Posted by: Louise | 11/05/2014 at 06:19 PM
I LOVE meeting my new students every year and finding out what they're into! Over my years as an SLP, I've had the chance to learn an amazing amount about Australian cattle dogs, dragons, trains, the Titanic, wolves, Hot Wheels, and many other topics my kiddos have been fascinated with! Their passion for their areas of interest is incredible!
Posted by: LisaY | 11/14/2014 at 06:15 PM