I applied for an Individual Artist Award with the Rasmussen Foundation, hoping to earn $7,000 for a new laptop computer and childcare so I could write more often.
I want to turn blog posts into essays for submission to magazines while I work on the chapters of my first book.
My letter arrived Sunday and as soon as I read the word "unfortunately" I knew.
Rejected.
Again.
Hard to keep submitting when I receive letters like this.
As I read on, I learned that out of 331 applicants only 36 artists received awards and the ratio helped quiet the voice that tells me I'm no good.
(Why try?
Stop writing.)
The letter went on to say: Enclosed you will find panel comments...We hope you will be able to use these comments to improve your chances of success in future competitive opportunities.
It is rare to find out why the reviewers rejected my submission, I flipped to the next page and read:
Panelists Comments for Application:
Did not represent herself well on her application. Immature artist statement. Beautiful writing samples. Emerging.
So yes, I filled out the application the day before the due date finding myself with a workday at home with a sick kid, I pieced my artist statement together with two blog posts and called it good.
And I still have no idea how to write an artist statement.
How do I write about how and I why I write?
Still, I read on:
Comments:
I just really like this artist's writing and sensibility. She is an emerging writer, and the field is too crowded and competitive to move her proposal forward THIS YEAR, but I hope she can get a real sense of my solidarity and admiration for her work. Her identity as a writer is not in question--in addition to all else she is, this is a writer. I looked at her blog and love the work she is generating, consistently, despite the pressures upon her. I so wish we could have funded her to get the additional writing time and equipment that she is requesting, but I trust that a writer of this caliber is on her way regardless. I thank the writer for the opportunity to come to know her work.
Maybe I'll keep writing after all.
"This is a writer."
Thank you, oh mystery panelist, writer, you.
THAT is a wonderful rejection!!
Posted by: Tabatha | 05/04/2015 at 04:57 AM
Sounds like next year is in the bag. You are a terrific writer and it's great to see them acknowledge that.
Posted by: Lee | 05/04/2015 at 07:05 AM
It is nice to see someone appreciate reviewers, and I'm glad you got supportive ones! As an academic, I've been on both sides of the reviewer-reviewee fence many times, and reviews can be a powerful opportunity to mentor someone rather than tear a person down. I imagine you will write supportive reviews of other writers someday!
Posted by: Marie | 05/04/2015 at 09:13 AM
darn! But talk about a silver lining. I Agree with the comment above - a fabulous rejection letter. (Next year! Next year!) <3
Posted by: Ginna | 05/04/2015 at 09:21 AM
I'm fascinated by the first critic's comments you quoted. "Did not represent herself well" - so you can't just be an artist, you have to be able to sell yourself. That's such a tough thing to do, especially when you are a person who puts others first so often, out of need and desire. So I totally get your response: it's hard to explain what we do from the heart. Just keep plugging away and you will emerge, maybe even without having to write that darn statement! Brava to you, Christy.
Posted by: Susan | 05/04/2015 at 09:36 PM
Thanks all. It was really nice to read positive feedback especially after seeing that darn word, "unfortunately." And I do have a lot of work to do on the whole "selling side" of being a writer/artist. This doesn't come as naturally and yet it is a component of putting myself out there as a writer. And yes, i so appreciate the reviewers, especially that second one for taking the time to build me up and not just tear me down.
Posted by: Christy | 05/05/2015 at 08:49 AM
That's great feedback, I especially agree with this line "I looked at her blog and love the work she is generating, consistently, despite the pressures upon her." YES!!! This is one of the amazing things about you - your DRIVE. I say, get back on the horse! If you need anyone to read your NEXT application before you send it there are lots of us here who would jump at the chance to assist you. Sometimes it helps to have your fan club sell you - first to yourself, and then to others. We all come back again and again because you've captivated us with your writing. Let us help sell you to the larger world. The larger world NEEDS you... even more than you need that laptop and childcare.
Posted by: Louise | 05/05/2015 at 03:02 PM