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Christy, your grief is palpable, and you have expressed it so eloquently that I sat silently for several minutes after I finished your post.

I hope you never doubt that you and Nick are doing a good - no - excellent! - job of bearing this "weight". No matter how many times it knocks you to the ground, you always manage to crawl out from under it, get back on your feet and continue on. That is the definition of excellency. Be proud of yourself. You deserve it. Vicki in Tennessee

Oh Christy. Reaching out across the distance from New Mexico to Alaska with a big virtual hug. I have been in that dark place. That's when I find myself listening to Coldplay The scientist: nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start. For me that's my go to hard parenting song. Wish I could be there to watch the kids while you go for a run or have a beer or cry in the shower or whatever helps you. I think you are brave and you're doing a great job in all your realms at home and at work. You are enough.

Vicki thank you so much and the image of you sitting silently after read this post touched my heart. Kate I'm pulling out Coldplay tonight if I need it. I'm happy to report Day two without Dad was better thanks in part to friends watching the kids for me in th morning so I could play soccer. I know me getting away and kicking a ball instead of a chair helped us all. Thank you both for your wonderful words of support!

Christy, I so appreciate your honesty and I think you handled everything SO WELL. When I think about parenting in the trenches and how it feels in the moment, your decisions make perfect sense (and kicking the chair got Elias' attention and got him out of his head: he commented on YOUR behavior). Thank you for sharing and know that your readers are keeping you and your lovely, challenging family (whose isn't?!?) in our thoughts. So glad day 2 was better! You all deserved that.

Long-time reader, first-time commenter. Just wanted to say that you write beautifully and I think you're doing a great job as a parent. I admire your strength in dealing with your children and I think you paint a realistic and emotionally compelling picture with your writing. I have three young children, one of whom has some medical issues, and I appreciate that you're so honest and down-to-earth. Thank you for sharing your story.

Kristen you saying that me kicking the chair helped him get out of his head has been hugely helpful, thank you, especially since I noticed the next day that I put a hole in the drywall. One more project...

Jen, thank you for reading and taking a moment to tell me why you enjoy my blog. It helps on those days when i wonder why I feel compelled to write, especially about the harder times, to know my words are reaching others.

We are all in this together even if we feel isolated at times.

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