We are in the kitchen, as always, getting ready for school.
Olive lays on the bench with her feet against the wall. "Mom, did you know Frances said the s word."
"Oh yeah?"
Does she mean shit?
"Yeah, at recess yesterday," Olive says, looking at me with a six-year-old's serious eyes.
I place the only thing my daughter will eat in the mornings, the oh-so-healthy cinnamon and sugar on toast, on the table before her and say: "Well, she just didn't make a good choice with her words."
"Yeah, and she said the h word too."
H, I'm stumped, h, um, hell..?
After a sip of coffee I say: "Olive, can you whisper to me the h word."
Olive's eyes light up as she sits up and leans towards my ear: "Hate."
"Oh, and what's the s word?"
Olive cradles her hands around her mouth and softly says: "Stupid."
And my heart wants to hold her here, in this moment, when "hate" and "stupid" are the dirtiest of words, not to be spoken with a loud voice.
A nasty verb and insulting adjective with no place on my daughter's playground.
Stay here sweet one.
And later in the same day.
Olive pauses in her dance around the kitchen and says: "Mom, guess what Fiona said?"
"What?"
She smiles and sings: "Olive and Zeke sitting in a tree, k, I, S, S...what's the rest of it?"
Without a pause I answer: "I, N, G."
And just like that I am back on the monkey bars, a scabby kneed girl with a pixie haircut singing: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage...
"Yeah, thats it." Olive tilts her head to the side and asks, "Is that mean?"
"Well, how did you feel when she said it?"
Her face is a warm sea, nothing but sunshine and blue sky: "Oh, Zeke and I laughed. Fiona is so funny."
"Then no, its not mean."
And even later, Olive swings in our Birch and sings the age old playground Sitting-in-a-Tree song, the same one I sang back at Baldwin Elementary in Watertown CT in the 1970's, in the way she currently understands it:
"Olive and Zeke sitting in a tree, K -I -S -S -I -N -G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes babysitting..."
Oh, Olive, so true.
Tomorrow is Olive's last day as a kindergartener.
Elias's last day in elementary school.
My last day as the kids' counselor.
And besides a final Friday for me to pack my office, our last day at Airport Heights Elementary.
I can't freeze time.
But I wouldn't mind if this last day fell long and slooooow.
freeze frame is right! what a beautiful moment in your life. well deserved and then onto the next....xox.
Posted by: fleming ackermann | 05/19/2016 at 05:56 PM
So beautifully written. Best wishes for your new adventure!
Posted by: tonikayerieger | 05/20/2016 at 11:50 AM
Love. Can't wait for the next stage but hope you can hang onto to this sweet innocence too.
Posted by: Kate | 05/21/2016 at 06:00 PM