Its All You Got Sometimes

Some days it just rains. And rains for days. 

And you see images of the west on fire and want to blow the grey clouds southwards with the force of the winds of Irma, Jose, Harvey. 

And you feel overwhelmed as the earth shakes in Mexico, and families in Florida brace for a storm like no other, as folks in Houston attempt to recover.

And the honeymoon ended, a week ago Friday, with your "special needs" son and his start to the school year, it ended the moment his resource teacher called to tell you he hit her in the face, this after he had responded to your unoriginal question— how was your day?— with his generic answer: It was great.

Great.

I don’t think any of us feel truly great right now, not with North Korea striking poses, not with white supremacists gathering momentum, not with dreamers worried about deportation, not with the West in flames, Texas flooded, and I-95 carrying the biggest mass evacuation in US history along its northward spine.

And you live in a trailer, in a rainforest, in Alaska. 

And for every step forward you make towards the completion of your house, circumstances or errors (not all yours), throw you back another four.

And the snow slowly creeps down the mountains.

And your kids go to school un-showered with stains on their shirts, their hair uncombed, but with food in their bellies, and love, so much love, sending them through their classroom doors.

Love.

Its all you got sometimes. All you can return to when devastation and discrimination seem to rule the day. Just love more-- more openly, more inclusively, more freely, more.

Love.

Until you wake on a Friday morning, before the sunrise, to the sight of a moon not covered in clouds-- and as dawn turns to day you see small circles of blue, like love letters, sent to pierce the grey shield above this place you call home.

Hope-- lets not forget hope.

Comments

[Valerie Demming]

Thank you for this...I needed it today. So much of what is happening "out there" is so overwhelming. My counselor and I worked today on the phrase, "I have what I need." This rings true for me as I focus on my life and my small small circle. "I have what I need."

[Kate]

Just what I needed today too. Was checking in to see if you had an update. We are waiting for the social worker to arrive for our home study. So much love and hope. That's all we can do. Lots of love to you and your family. Always reading and enjoying your posts even if I don't comment every time.