Ssh...
Pretend I am not actually sharing this, not transcribing the words from my head to the page, or else it might jinx the tranquility.
You ready?
My children seem to be getting along.
Not just today.
For more than a week. More than a month even.
It almost coincides with our move to the tiny cabin, but even our last few weeks in the trailer seemed smooth. What is it they say about small spaces?
On a recent road trip, Elias shared his small bag of barbecue chips with Olive. She gave him a bite of her hotdog. This may seem minuscule but the unprompted sharing loomed large as I drove on the scenic Seward highway over Turnagain Pass.
On Saturday, they played the timeless game that begins by accidentally getting Object A stuck in a tree only to get Object B and C stuck in the process of trying to free A. When Object D finally releases Object A, after a short celebration, Object A promptly gets thrown back in the tree, on purpose this time, because the process of freeing A proves more entertaining than the original game that ended when it got stuck. You know what I'm talking about.
I told my kids, "Guess what, all over the world, right now, children are are throwing things into trees. In Africa. In Australia. In Cape Cod...."
In their case Object A was a ball they were throwing for Lola and when it got stuck they found a pile of old trim pieces of wood, long and skinny like spears. And they actually peacefully took turns throwing them up into the tall Hemlock. No one got poked in the eye. The wooden sticks never became weapons.
I split wood nearby with my back to my children.
At night, in the loft, I often hear them talking to each other and even laughing, if say Olive farts or Elias pulls his covers up around his broad shoulders only for his big feet to hang out the end.
"What should I draw?' Olive asks her brother, on many a night, as she always seems to turn into an artist whenever its time for bed.
And he actually answers.
The other night he responded: "Draw what you think our house will look like when its done."
And she said: "Ok." This after rejecting my earlier suggestions.
Last night as Olive tried to reach her Halloween candy on top of the fridge Elias said, "Here let me help."
"Thank you," said Olive.
Nick and I glanced at each other like: What the fuck has happened to our kids?!
In a good way.
Like who are these kind helpful creatures?
Things have been so peaceful in our often turbulent home, I even entertained the idea of leaving Elias and Olive alone in the cabin, for fifteen whole minutes, as I drove up to our building site to pick up some supplies. They ended up opting to come with me, but the fact that I gave them the option to stay is pretty darn miraculous considering a few months ago I felt like I couldn't turn my back without instigation and injury.
Instigation and Injury felt like our constant, the thrumming noise we tolerated-- until one day it just stopped, and we all looked around bewildered by the silence. Awed by the absence of discord.
And we realized we'd been holding our breaths for months. Ah, the beauty in exhalation.
And sure this bubble will most likely pop.
For all I know, Elias will try to slash his sister with his overgrown nails tomorrow, or a week from now--yet I want to record this moment of harmony.
The page pulls me more often during distress.
During moments of darkness I turn to the computer screen to write my way through the shadows, to connect with readers who might understand my feelings, even if they don't have children of their own, but have tasted grief in one of the numerous ways it can be served.
Today is not one of those writing sessions.
No, today I write to remember the calm, to share something as simple and complex as sibling grace.
A moment of accord between these two beings that share my DNA, two souls fused together by nature and nurture, who raised their white flags high enough, long enough, for their Mama to note.
Oh so beautiful, love your writing, love to read updates, life and the gifts we are given..
Posted by: Nancy Yeaton | 11/07/2017 at 09:39 AM
This brought a smile to my face!
Posted by: Toni | 11/07/2017 at 10:42 AM
Hope this continues for a long time. This brought big smiles to our faces.
Posted by: Mom and Dad | 11/08/2017 at 11:14 AM
We play this game in West Linn, Oregon! The whole neighborhood gets involved! Then dads, and ladders, and leaf blowers! It's a great game!
Posted by: Margaret | 11/09/2017 at 04:57 PM
So glad to read this update! Hope this new phase lasts!!!0
Posted by: Kate | 11/10/2017 at 08:42 AM
I'm happy to report the good vibes continue and I'm feeling hopeful that this way of being together will be our new normal. We'll see...
Margaret I love the leaf blowers getting into the act:)
Posted by: Christy | 11/10/2017 at 09:35 AM