I Wish That Was Enough

The sun finally came out today after days of rain. Yes rain, in November, in Alaska. We aren't even dropping below freezing at night here on the Kenai Peninsula.

And yes, this worries me.

Without our usual blanket of snow, the darkness lays thicker against the earth, making our nights too long, with more time for anxious minds to spin.

So much does not seem right.

And I know I'm not alone with my anxiety. Its on the rise, along with depression, suicidal ideation, especially amongst our children whose screens bombard them with messages of despair disguised in Aps where they are never good enough.

The daily news carries stories of division, destruction, devastation and the delay of actions to shift the tide. The waves grow stronger, pound the shores of childhood, until hope is left bobbing in a dark sea.

But we need to anchor it. To keep it afloat.

For without hope, what does the troubled child hold?

How can she dream about a future, if all the narratives include oceans on the rise, wildfires that rage, water that slowly fades into dust?

How can he long for something better amidst the building of walls, the loss of human rights, the venom that blares across Twitter feeds?

I want to believe that we continue to evolve and what we see in this time of polarized inaction is the last dying cry of a system built to oppress-- and as it loses its hold on humanity, we will arrive on the other side with more compassion in our tired eyes.

I want to believe that Olive, Elias, and all the children I serve will live to see a brighter day that I cant even imagine with my smile lines, creaky knees, and silver strands that slowly define me as old.

I know this blog started as a parent's journey raising a child with special needs, but I can no longer write from that confined personal space. I lost readers when I crossed political lines and yet I no longer know how to parent without also expressing my fear about our current state of affairs. 

And honestly, I don't see it as political, as in red verse blue, but as a choice between denying or supporting humanity, beauty, love.

I love my children. I love my community. I love this world.

I wish that was enough.

I want that to be enough.

I want to hold hope in my hands, to know down deep in my bones that everything will be alright.

That every little thing will be alright.

 

Comments

[Greta]

I think love is all that ever has carried people through the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

[Christy]

I always love your comments Greta, thank you!

[richard everett]

Wow. Heartfelt. Echoed.